3 things to do if you’ve had enough of self-doubt

by annastaffe | Sep 3, 2018 | Self development | 1 comment

I had an epiphany today and I need to share it with you.

So imagine this… you’re about to go on a date. Your tommy is tight because you’re nervous. Duh. But you’re not just nervous, you’re freaked out. “What if I get spinach stuck in my tooth without knowing it? OR if I choke on some spinach and accentually spit him in the face when I’m coughing it out?”

This has DISASTER spelled all over it! I better cancel.

I did this today but I stopped myself and asked: “Is this actually realistic or am I just exaggerating?”

I’m sure you guessed it… I’m exaggerating.

Do you have intrusive thoughts that cause self-doubt? Think about it. When was the last time you really wanted something, but ended up talking yourself out of it because you were scared? If you’re like many others that is a part of your daily life!

Don’t worry though, you and I are in the same boat and I’ve got the perfect step by step guide to make the saliling a lot less rocky.

Why is it important to beat intrusive thoughts?

But first let’s talk about why it’s so important to be aware of your intrusive thoughts.

When you think intrusive thoughts you get a distorted view of the world. This is why it often feels scary when you’re trying to pursue something outside of your comfort zone. Your brain thinks that you’re in danger because you’re scared of going on a date. Therefore it’s gonna talk you out of it. Unfortunately that means that you’re missing out on spending a romantic night at a table with a checkered tablecloth sharing a big plate of spagetti with meatballs just like lady and the tramp.

Do you really wanna miss out on that spaghetti smooch? Of course not!

So how do you avoid letting your intrusive thoughts come in your way?

Step 1. Become ‘intrusive thought’ aware

How often do you pay attention to your thoughts? I’m talking about that ongoing conversation you have with yourself all day. “Do we have any cake in the refrigerator? I should probably get to work.. Eww did someone fart?”. Do you recognize what I’m talking about?

There is nothing wrong with these thoughts. They only become wrong when they’re irrational like “What if someone think that I’m the one who farted? Omg they’re probably gonna think that I’ve got no manners. Or worse, that I just didn’t shower for a week and therefore I smell like fart“.

Now is this realistic? Of course not. These irrational stories that you tell yourself is what you gotta look out for.

Step 2. Is this true?

To make sure that your intrusive thoughts doesn’t come in the way of what you want, it’s important to immediately question it .

Is this thought true?

Is it realistic that people think that you haven’t showered for days?

Is it realistic that you’ll spit your date in the face?

Probably not.

So why should you believe a thought that is lying?

That’s right, you shouldn’t.

Step 3. Swap your irrational thought for a rational one

Now that you know how to tell your intrusive thoughts from the ones that aren’t, you can swap it for something better.

When an intrusive thought comes up, replace it with something nice and loving.

So “What if I spit him in the face?” becomes “He’s gonna want to eat my lips”.

It’s basically like complimenting yourself all day long. I wouldn’t complain.

If you want a head start you should check out the video down below. It’s a guided meditation with positive affirmations. This will help limit your irrational thoughts and make space for better ones.

Let me know in the comments below what intrusive thought you swapped for a better one?

1 Comment

John Langbein on September 25, 2019 at 9:20 am

Music & message most rewarding not totally proficient with Facebook or other media avenues yet – improving slowly; would love 2 continue with your programs & other avenues, please !